If you boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse has cheated on you, do you believe they can ever change? Or do you think it's the kind of betrayal which will always cause suspicion in the relationship?

Any thoughts would be welcome.

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"Even though I'm no more than a monster - don't I, too, have the right to live?" -- Oldboy (2003)

Infidelity seems so common to me these days. Several of my married friends have come to me with trouble in their relationship revolving around an affair or suspicions of an affair.

A friend of mine, Adriana, recently had a kid with a guy married to another woman who also has another kid by a third woman.

Another friend, Danielle, suspects her husband of cheating on her from emails she found on her husbands myspace account.

One of my closest friend, Ericka, who is recently engaged cheated on her fiancé and they are now struggling to save their relationship.

Even Laura and I struggled with our relationship at the beginning because she still had feelings about her ex who she kept in touch with at the time.

I can almost guarantee that all of these people will remain in their relationships and that eventually those betrayed will learn to trust. And those committing the betrayal will have done their part to earn back that trust.

I guess my point is that people make mistakes that are common enough in a relationship. I think people can change but it takes the full commitment of both parties to recover from an affair.

I really think it depends on the particular person as well. If they are honest about it with their partner and they understand the whys of cheating that person had and agree to work on it, great! However, I have a cousin whose husband cheated and she has never forgiven him, which makes it a horrible situation for all of us when we get around them.

So your cousin and her husband are still together?

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"Even though I'm no more than a monster - don't I, too, have the right to live?" -- Oldboy (2003)

I understand the whole concept of forgiving and not forgetting but you got to be able to move on IMO. Once you decide you're going to forgive a person you can't ever rub that incident back in their face. Otherwise I don't think you can say you've truly forgiven.

They are still together. She says she has forgiven him, but the way she talks to him is proof she hasn't. They are horrible to each other. Yelling and just being plain rude to each other.

You should tell your friends to watch this video: Dane Cook Bad Relationship & Brain Ninjas maybe it'll lighten them up

thanks for the advice. Sure will!